This week as I studied my Bible in preparation to teach I was hit with the fact that I have missed out on seeing God work in my life and family. There have been many times when I didn’t really expect Him to answer my prayer. I guess because I didn’t feel “worthy” of His working in my life. This is especially true when it comes to finances. I just didn’t ask with the expectation of a positive answer. In James 1:5-8 James writes:
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, Who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Studying this passage, I remembered the many times I asked with more doubt than faith. After my son’s heart surgery for which we had no insurance, I was encouraged to ask God to provide. I did ask, but had a difficult time believing that He actually would. I felt like money was not to be asked for as it seemed selfish. It didn’t occur to me me that God just wants to bless us and bless others who would contribute to our need. That He would receive honor and glory for the fulfillment of such a prayer. I missed an opportunity for our sons to see His goodness in giving also.

Another time, I was on a trip with the youth when our bus overheated. I felt a strong compulsion to lead the group in prayer asking God to cool the bus and get us back home. I did pray but with little conviction that God would fix the bus. So He didn’t. I prayed a weak prayer because I didn’t want to explain if God didn’t do it. What an opportunity I missed for these youth to see God really manifest His power and glory. We made it home safely, but God was not honored in the process. There are many other instances of my weak faith. I really didn’t know the depth of my Lord’s love and willingness to help me. So I missed out.

However, there are many times that I have seen God turn cancer into nothing and financial difficulties into blessings. He has answered more prayers than I can number. When working as a Chaplain at a state jail, I would write down prayers I needed Him to answer for the ministry and when the answer came. I needed teachers for anger management classes; mentors for the women; churches of different denominations for services, equipment for the chapel, etc. God answered every prayer. He is a God of glory, power, mercy and so much more. He is the One Who fulfills all my needs. Oh, how I love Him!